Some men love missionary, and some dudes dig doggystyle. Others like you on top, while certain guys stick with spooning. Sure, his favorite sex position is probably the one that gives him the best orgasm—but on a subconscious level, his go-to move also says something about his personality in the sack.
The move: Missionary is like Sex 101: It’s the way we’re “taught” to have sex, and the way that we see it most often in rom-coms and TV shows. But although this position is a classic, a Missionary Man might be a little insecure or “need reassurance by seeing his lover be responsive,” says sex therapist Ava Cadell, PhD, author of Neurolovology. He may also be keen on having control during sex, as missionary gives him all the driving power. Since the position finds both people face-to-face, there’s some intimacy to it—but its basicness suggests the guy might not be confident about the other moves in his arsenal. “It’s romantic, but not very adventurous,” Cadell says.
Switch things up: There’s nothing wrong with loving the classics, but make sure he takes a walk on the wild side every now and then. If he can only climax during missionary, that’s a problem, Cadell says, and there needs to be some “reprogramming” to the sex life. Try switching to woman on top, which has all of the same intimate qualities, but will let him relinquish some of that control—and spice things up.
The move: We’ve never met a guy who didn’t like doggy. This, some believe, is how man was meant to have sex. A doggy-lover “taps into his territorial animalistic instinct as king of the jungle,” says Cadell, “but he also has fears of intimacy and is generally unromantic.” After all, he probably doesn’t go for rear entry because he wants to whisper sweet nothings in your ear from behind.
Switch things up: He can get the deepest penetration from this position, but what’s earned in depth is lost in intimacy. To make up for it, spring for spoons every now and then. He’ll still get to enter from behind, but you’ll both get the snuggly qualities of spooning sex.
WOMAN ON TOP
The move: The beauty of this position is that there are a million ways to do it—and it’s all up to the woman. Men who love their women on the saddle are likely concerned with pleasing their partners, and Cadell says this move shows that “he’s confident in being submissive, but he can also be dominant when he enables her to reach her orgasm with deeper penetration.” Basically, he gets off helping you get off.
Switch things up: We get that men like the view from down there, but it’s a good idea for him to take control every now and again by flipping you over. You’ll appreciate the occasional shift in power, and the view isn’t bad from back there, either, if we do say so ourselves.
The move: Given that spooning is most often associated with cuddling and sleep, it’s no surprise that this super-intimate position is often the go-to for guys who have a soft spot. But men who love the move aren’t wimps—instead, they’re “passionate and eager to please their lover,” Cadell says.
Switch things up: Everyone likes to experience the sweeter side of sex, and props to him for being a romantic. But he can still be intimate while igniting a little more fire into your sex life. While he’s in the spooning position, he can reach around to stimulate your clitoris, or try a position like missionary where you can gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes while getting even deeper penetration.
The move: Pressed against the front door, hoisted onto the kitchen counter, or in the shower, you can have standing sex anywhere but the bed. That’s why guys who like this position best are adventurous, and often turned on by the idea of being naughty. The Standing Man is a “mischievous lover who gets a thrill out of getting caught, and wants to have as much fun as possible with little regard of the consequences,” says Cadell.
Switch things up: Novelty is part of what keeps your sex life hot, so don’t let yours simmer down by going to the same standing position time after time. Vary the locations you choose, or switch to doggy from time to time to keep things interesting.